The Smell of Roses
by Blossom286
Summary: It couldn't be any harder
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1A  
  
Lyrics from "Could it be Any Harder" by The Calling  
  
  
  
You left me with goodbye and open arms  
  
A cut so deep I don't deserve  
  
You were always invincible in my eyes  
  
The only thing against us now is time  
  
Chorus:  
  
Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you,  
  
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true  
  
If I only had one more day  
  
I lie down and blind myself with laughter  
  
A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing  
  
And how I wish that I could turn back the hours  
  
But I know I just don't have the power  
  
I'd jump at the chance,  
  
We'd drink and we'd dance  
  
And I'd listen close to your every word,  
  
As if it's your last, well I know it's your last,  
  
Cause today, oh, you're gone  
  
Could it be any harder, Could it be any harder  
  
Could it be any harder to live my life without you  
  
Could it be any harder, I'm all alone, I'm all alone  
  
Like sand on my feet,  
  
The smell of sweet perfume  
  
You stick to me forever, baby  
  
I wish you didn't go  
  
I wish you didn't go, I wish you didn't go away  
  
To touch you again,  
  
With life in your hands,  
  
It couldn't be any harder.. harder.. harder 


	2. Chapter 2

"Sydney Bristow was an amazing person, in a thousand different ways. She was strong, capable, brilliant, loyal, and true. She fought against everything she had known to protect truth and goodness in the world. But Sydney was more than just an incredible agent, one of the CIA's best. Sydney showed unconditional love for her country, and her friends. She would do anything to save and protect the innocent, including risking her own life to save another. Sydney had a life most of us can only imagine in our nightmares. After seven years she discovered all the work and the hardship she had endured was not used for good, but for evil. She willingly put herself in extreme danger and a torturous lifestyle to bring the evil to an end. Sydney's life was one of lies. Almost everything in her life, names, her job...it was all fake. But despite that, Sydney was still Sydney. She maintained her character, her sense of humor, everything that made her who she was. Despite the double life she was forced to live, Sydney was the most real person I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. More than that, she was the one person I loved." 


	3. Chapter 3

"Syd, we have 1 minute until the building blows!"  
  
"Syd, do you copy? Where are you Syd?"  
  
"Ranger, this is Mama Bird. Get the hell out of that building! I repeat, evacuate the building!"  
  
"Arrowhead, this is Ranger. Do you copy?"  
  
"Ranger, you have been ordered to evacuate the building!"  
  
"Do you copy Ranger?"  
  
"I copy sir, but I can't leave. Arrowhead is not accounted for. I repeat, Arrowhead is missing!"  
  
"Abort the mission!"  
  
"Syd, where are you? Syd answer me!"  
  
"We've got to get out of here Syd!"  
  
"I copy Ranger. I-----------can't-------breaking up---"  
  
"GET OUT SYD! I'll meet you outside!"  
  
"Ranger the building goes in 15 seconds! Return to base!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Ranger, this is Mama Bird. Do you copy?  
  
"Ranger. I copy."  
  
"Arrowhead, this is Mama Bird. Do you copy?"  
  
"Do you copy Arrowhead?"  
  
"Arrowhead return to base."  
  
"Syd...." 


	4. Chapter 4

"Vaughn, are you alright?" Jack asked, concerned.  
  
"What? Oh, oh yeah. I guess. I was just....thinking."  
  
"Vaughn, it wasn't your fault."  
  
"Maybe not entirely, but I could have gotten her out."  
  
"You would have died Vaughn."  
  
"At least I'd be with her."  
  
"You did the best you could Vaughn. We ALL did."  
  
"It's my job to keep her safe!"  
  
"You didn't know she couldn't get out."  
  
"Dammit, it's my JOB to know! I'm supposed....I'm supposed...." Vaughn's voice began to crack as he filled with tears. "I'm supposed to keep her safe. I should have done more. Jack, that should be me!" he cried, indicating the coffin. "There's not even a body. Dear God, I failed her."  
  
Jack's own eyes filled with tears as he observed the coffin. Sydney's friends could not even be present for her funeral. It was a closed ceremony, and secrets could not be revealed. Even in death she was in hiding, saving the people she loved, losing everything for herself.  
  
Vaughn walked away from Jack and stood by the coffin. The CIA had provided flowers. Pink and yellow roses. It seemed a cruel irony mocking him. They were so like her. Beautiful and seemingly delicate. But dangerous and strong at the same time.  
  
An uncharacteristically cold wind blew and ruffled his hair and coat. How had winter come so soon? The strong breeze carried away the smell of the roses and ripped their soft petals.  
  
How could it all be over?  
  
No goodbyes.  
  
No "I love yous."  
  
Just silence. And the smell of roses. 


	5. Chapter 5

Vaughn shielded his face from the glowering flames and the rubble and debris raining down upon him.  
  
"SYDNEY!" he shouted with all his strength. His cries were in vain though. Any sound he made was drowned out by the blast.  
  
The air cleared and there was nothing.  
  
The silence was deafening.  
  
He raised his dust covered face from the ground and shook the gravel from his body. For just a moment, he thought he could smell the intoxicating fragrance of roses, but as his mind cleared all he smelled was smoke.  
  
Suddenly a hand reached out to him.  
  
A once delicate hand, though its perfection now marred by scars and calluses. Short and elegant fingernails, long, graceful fingers.  
  
He reached out his own hand, but he could not reach hers. She seemed so close...  
  
"Sydney..." he whispered.  
  
Her beautiful full lips began to form words.  
  
"I love...." 


	6. Chapter 6

This is a bit confusing b/c there are no names.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Will he wake up soon?"  
  
"We can't be sure. There's internal damage and injury to the head."  
  
"But he's going to be ok, right?"  
  
"His status is critical."  
  
"Can't you tell me anything? Please!"  
  
"We're doing all we can."  
  
"Can you hear me? I'm here. You're going to be ok."  
  
"Do you know why he didn't evacuate the building immediately?"  
  
"He was trying to tell me something but my comm. was breaking up. I tried to tell him I was out, but I think he thought I was still in the building....He was trying to save me."  
  
"You should get some sleep."  
  
"Did my father cover for me at SD-6?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then I'm staying with him." 


	7. Chapter 7

"I can't do this without you. Why did it have to happen this way? What did we do to deserve this? We worked so hard and now it's all gone, because you're not here. Please, PLEASE come back to me. I know if I had just tried a little harder I could have stopped all this. I'm so sorry about the building that day. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry, I could have saved you. I didn't know...I didn't know...I couldn't get you out."  
  
You were always invincible in my eyes  
  
The only thing against us now is time  
  
"This wasn't supposed to happen to you. You didn't do anything wrong. I always knew something could happen...but it was never real. I never thought it would. I thought you would always be here."  
  
Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you,  
  
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true  
  
If I only had one more day  
  
"It too soon. Don't let this be the end. I never told you, I never got the chance. I wanted to for so long. Please, just come back. This can't be real. I'm not ready to tell you goodbye, I'm not ready for the end. Don't let this be it."  
  
  
  
And how I wish that I could turn back the hours  
  
But I know I just don't have the power  
  
"If I could just turn back time, just a little, I could have prevented all this. I could have gotten to you. I could have gone back in. I thought you were ok, I thought you were safe. I couldn't hear you, my comm. unit was breaking up. I'm so sorry I didn't go back in, I'm so sorry. Forgive me. Come back. Forgive me.  
  
I'd jump at the chance,  
  
We'd drink and we'd dance  
  
And I'd listen close to your every word,  
  
As if it's your last, well I know it's your last,  
  
Cause today, oh, you're gone  
  
"We could have had so much...if only we had known. We could have gone to the restaurant in Rome, and in Spain, and we could have gone to the hockey game. We could have gone dancing and stared at each other all night. We could have rented movies and spent the night in each other's arms...if you just let me have a second chance I'll make it all right."  
  
I wish you didn't go, I wish you didn't go away  
  
To touch you again,  
  
With life in your hands.  
  
"Come back to me Vaughn." 


End file.
